We may have jumped the gun a little. Maybe even by five or ten years. We always talked about it as our “retirement home”. A small, but nice place, to spend the rest of our years. It would be less to maintain, less to clean, and less to pay for. Allowing time for more enjoyment with family and friends, more time to get away and travel, and even just more time to enjoy at home.
For the past twenty-one years, we had enjoyed a nice ranch style home totaling 3,700 square feet on two levels. It was just right for our family of eight. It’s where we raised our six awesome kiddos and tried to teach them the balance of work and play. Overall it was just right for our phase. However, kids have a way of growing up and starting their own lives. When we began talking of a retirement home, two of our children had moved on, two were about college age and the bottom two had just started middle school. It became apparent that children leave as quickly as they arrive. Within a few years, we would be empty nesters.
So we started wondering. What if we built a smaller home when our kids are grown? Brent and I have long been intrigued by tiny houses. We value condensed and highly organized spaces where everything has a purpose. Could we feel freer with less to care for? What layout would feel cozy and minimal, yet allow for my family to come and stay sometimes? Would our kids get mad if we sold their childhood home? Would we miss the space when they come back home with families of their own to visit? There were many questions, but the lure was powerful and we spent lots of time pouring over floor plans, multi-functional space ideas, and convincing ourselves it could be done.
We envisioned this dreamy lifestyle as being about five years away. Excitement would build every time we talked of it and when the housing market started to look too good to ignore, we decided to put our home up for sale— just to see what would happen. It happened so fast it made my head spin. We had a signed contract at our asking price within 24 hours. Much sooner than we had envisioned, we had a check in our hands, a stack of hand-drawn floor plans, and a lot of mixed emotions about what we had gotten ourselves into.
Suddenly, we didn’t see ourselves as “close to empty nesters”. Instead, we were no-nesters with chicks still under our wings. It felt surreal. We had no plan for how we would house our family in the interim, and thirty days to move out. Just in case you didn’t know, thirty days is not long enough to move twenty-one years of accumulation. Or find a new place for six people to live. Homes and apartments were disappearing as soon as they were listed. What were we thinking?! Our perspective shifted 180 degrees. One minute we were fantasizing about all the benefits of downsizing, and the next we were terrified we would be homeless in a month. By the grace of God, we found a little apartment in town that would be ready exactly on time, and we began the exodus toward smaller living.
I cried the day we left. I walked into each empty room and a vision played out before me of all the ways that room had served my family over the years. Toddler rooms with Thomas trains and cribs, teen rooms with funky decor and too much stuff, school rooms and offices that moved around, walls that got moved around… I said a silent prayer of thanks for all this home had given us and walked out the front door for the last time.
Living with six people in a small apartment gave us the chance to see if we could get along with less space. We definitely learned some things. Everyone needs alone space sometimes. Separate working and playing areas are important. With only one space for all of our dining, tv viewing, cooking and even Brent’s office, we were in each other’s way constantly. At times, we wondered if we had made a huge mistake. Some time ago, we toyed with the idea of raising chickens. Brent had discovered while reading a book there is an ideal square footage to chicken ratio for optimal health and egg production. I thought about this while feeling quite cramped in our new space. I wondered if there is an ideal square footage per human in a home! I tried to look it up and didn’t come up with much, but whatever that number might be— we were not there. The experience was valuable though. It really helped us zero in on just how much space would be necessary and meaningful. We pressed on, believing that we would be able to find a just right middle ground for our family.
I realize the terms nice and small are relative. In the first 2 homes we built, we needed space for a growing family and had opted for more square footage over luxuries and custom touches. For this, our final home, we dreamed of cozier spaces with real hardwood floors, solid wood doors, and lots of large windows for natural light. Reducing the square footage meant we could afford to do these things without breaking the budget. However, since we had pushed the timing of our downsizing, we needed to adjust our original ideas about size to account for four kids still at home. It turns out that college-age kids don’t really leave. They come back for summer, in-between semesters, on random weekends, or global pandemics. Plus all their stuff stays home. I love to have them home! But it does require some space. In the end, it just meant that we needed to add one bedroom and design it so it could change roles down the road.
I spent so many hours drawing and redrawing, I couldn’t even count. Every day and much of the night for 4 months I designed every square inch of our new home. I sat at the table for so long I developed back problems- not recommended- but I was determined. We dug the hole for the foundation as soon as the ground thawed. It was so thrilling to see our dream taking shape! Each new construction phase brought us closer to the reality of our small, but nice new home.
Building smaller is backward in many people’s minds. With a large family that only gets bigger over time with in-laws and grandchildren, many of our peers feel they want to keep their larger homes so they have a place for everyone to gather. We are all for gathering! And have every intention to continue our family traditions. But a smaller house philosophy means we will be pushed to get more creative in the execution. Ultimately, we landed at 2100 square feet and we love every inch. A little bigger than we set out to build, but considerably smaller than the home we sold.
So did we jump the gun? Maybe a little. It’s tight at times, but the way we designed the rooms to work in multiple ways has given us all the flexibility we need. The kids love to have movie night sleepovers in the boys’ room/media room. I love to see the sun coming in from the south side windows. Brent smiles every time he walks over the threshold without having to step down. So far, it has proved to be everything we had hoped. Nice, and small(er).
